Supervisor Fails to Find Ass with Both Hands, But His Head Poses No Challenge

Scarcely had Dr. Dick set foot in town hall before he was being spotted in the village mayor’s office, having heart-to-hearts with the village’s volunteer director of recreation. Reliable sources overheard Dick promising her a paid position at the town. As he and the mayor schemed to find funding for the job, the mayor thought that merging the town and village departments might qualify them for a state subsidy due to the village’s low household income. In his plan, the taxpayer money they received could go towards paying for the new position.

However, Dick had higher aspirations, chuckling over his desire to dismiss the current town director, despite that by all reports she has been quite capably managing the department for years. Ducking out of town hall in February and March for secret meetings at the Airport Café, he conspired with Michael Kuzmitz, fourth ward councilman and wanna-be Judge Wapner, looking for trumped up reasons to cut the director loose.

They were aided in the plotting by Angie Bettina, sister of highway super Vinny “Il Stronzo” Bettina and occasional councilwoman for the second ward. Bettina, who has yet to make good on the first campaign promise out of her lips–that she donate her salary increase to the VA–offered to vouch that the director’s work was sub-par. During prolonged email and “off the record” discussions, the three of them decided to heap additional busywork on the director, both to hopefully goad her into quitting and to create a paper trail to provide “evidence” to support her dismissal. (A legal source tells us that three board members constitutes a quorum and New York law requires public business conducted in public, so these discussions may well have been illegal–but Dick’s only a patent lawyer so you can’t expect to him to keep up on these things and Kuzmitz is too busy pursing a seat on the .town court.

Simultaneously, Dick was flogging the idea of dumping $8 million into the decaying Carnwath Farms buildings, so the senior center–a part of the recreation department–could be moved there. Apparently Dick doesn’t like having to deal with whiny seniors in his office. Aside from the fact that Carnwath is a money pit that needs rebuilding from the foundation up, the seniors have no interest in moving there. By all accounts, they are quite happy in their current location at town hall. As Dick has already raided the town’s slush fund on multiple occasions, it’s unclear where the 8 million smackaroos needed to fuel this pipe dream would be coming from? Another gofundme campaign?

Being unable to bully the current director into resigning, the Dicktor has gone back to scheming in secret with the village director. As she is clinging precariously to her current position, being able to slither into the town department would be a neat escape. Folks in the know tell us that the village trustees have been seeking to remove her for months, citing a long history of financial mismanagement including filing undocumented expense, losing tables and chairs that were supposedly purchased but are nowhere to be found, and engaging in uncontrolled spending sprees such as $19,000 for the holiday display.

One of the trustees was overheard asking the of village treasurer what had happened to the vendor fees from the Sunday farmers markets, to which the treasurer replied that no funds had ever been turned in. (Deposits paid by the Christmas Parade participants have similarly gone up in smoke rather than hitting the village bank account.) The director cries and pouts to the mayor, who for some reason has been protecting her from dismissal, despite receiving intel that the director was previously questioned about missing funds at a local elementary school.

It’s a mystery why Dr. Dick wants to give a taxpayer funded position to this bungler, although she was helpful in spreading his web of lies during his campaign. Maybe he sees her as a kindred spirit, as there’s no evidence to suggest that Dick has any concept of fiscal responsibility himself. In recent months he has proposed onerous tax increases for town residents while simultaneously bleeding the reserve fund dry. The two of them might be very happy together, but the residents shouldn’t have to foot the bill.